Roasted Tomato and Portabella Pasta

I hate Dells. Wait, scratch that. Dells hate me. Universally. And this one sitting here in my lap ATM is no exception. It only just recently returned from my lap after a little rehab at the Dell ranch in Texas. It seems to have recouped some and there’s been no sign of relapse into the random disc-ejection sprees and general spasms thus far. So I’m back to food bloggin’. My return recipe is Roasted Tomato and Portabella Pasta.

You need:
- 15-20 cherry tomatoes, halved
- 1/2 c. portabella mushrooms, diced (I used the baby bellas, but mostly just because I think the name is cute) 
- 1 T garlic, minced
- 1 t Italian seasoning
- 1 1/2 T olive oil
- 1/2 T red wine vinegar
- 1 16-oz. box pasta, cooked 
- sea salt and black pepper, a pinch of each

This recipe works with pretty much any vegetables you need to use up that are in your fridge. I’m just trying to make it look like it’s more complex than slathering a bunch of plant bits in oil, baking the bits, then stirring the bits into the pasta in a way no sofa spud ever could. It’s a facade, but it will likely would to trick your dinner party guests, too. Alley oop, y’all.

Then:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Dump all the veggies in a bowl with the oil, vinegar and spices. Toss them around with your hands until everything’s lookin’ slick. Spread out the bowl’s contents evenly on a cookie (or PIZZA) sheet (pan). I sprinkle a little more salt on top, but I’m aware most people find this suspect. Salt it or don’t. I don’t care. This is what it will likely look like the first image of this post.

Bake them for 12 minutes. Then you want to hoist ‘em out and scrape ‘em up — thus flippin’… ‘em. Stick the sheet back in the oven and bake another 20 minutes.

Shiny.

Add the oven-roasted (oh, sounds très Euro, no?) vegetables to the cooked pasta. I used some swirly, tri-colored pasta I found in my parents’ pantry masquerading as if created from vegetables (I am skeptical). I’d recommend whole-wheat penne noodles, though, as they are the easiest to stab.

Optional: First — sorry, hold on — first, don’t you kind of hate the “optional” segment in recipes? It’s like… isn’t this whole fucking thing optional? Isn’t me, standing here in secondhand slippers and no pants, trying to make Green Risotto With Fava Beans optional? Isn’t it still an option to put on Hall and Oates, tear open a bag of Fritos and totally give up on cooking? Because everything is an option. Anyway. Let’s try this again. Another option is adding shredded parmesan cheese — an option I opted for. I stirred some throughout the pasta and sprinkled a bit more on top. Mmm, stringy. If you opt for this option, too, your product will hopefully resemble this:

My next option I think I will opt for is a shower. Yeah. So thanks for reading, my sweet 11 followers. May you opt for good (and hygienic) options today, too.

  1. yocilantro posted this
I majored in journalism and now I live in Brooklyn. I know how to make tasty, cheap food.

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